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Hey everyone, I’m Erik Thor, an expert on using personality psychology for flow and personal development.

ENFP INTJ Relationship – The Rival Intellectuals

THE ENFP INTJ RELATIONSHIP COMPATIBILITY. The ENFP INTJ Relationship can be described as a healthy rivalry between two intellectuals. Both being of equal wit and mind, these two types are always working hard to demonstrate clarity, wisdom, and forethought to one another. Here, intuition can flourish, while your Thinking or Feeling has to be set aside. What is ENFP INTJ Dating like and are these two types compatible?

Learn about different relationship types here.


When you first meet an INTJ, you may feel blown away. Wow, this person is smart. You won’t find a more intellectually satisfying partner than an ENFP. The way you two think pair together to really stretch the limits of your imagination. This is a pairing where two minds can dance as one. Often, this is an argumentative pairing, where both constantly attempt to outwit the other.

You’ll find yourself constantly trying to be one step ahead of the other person. You want to leave them speechless, as you dazzle them with a really unique perspective or outlook. You’l be surprised to see that this is not the case. No matter what you say, your partner is going to get it, and beyond that, they’re going to match it with something even more surprising. This makes ENFP INTJ Dating a truly fun experience.

In the honeymoon stage you’ll be thrilled to hear your partner is able to constantly disagree with you. You’re so fascinated with their mind that it doesn’t matter that your values can be so different. The ability to play with their mind outweighs the fact that they might not provide you with the emotional reassurance you might want as an ENFP. As an INTJ, in this phase, you don’t even think about the fact that your relationship is absorbing so much time that you start to forget about your projects and personal hobbies.

The Rival Intellectuals

I call this a pairing of two rivalling intellectuals. You can both highly respect one another for your great wit and your quick learning. You are both abstract types that need a great deal of mental stimulation. Luckily, you can both provide each other with this in plenty. When two rival intellectuals meet, ideas will be plenty. You will both share in elaborate, complex projects and possibilities.

There is a great joy in coming up with ever bigger projects and more complex ideas. While your rivalry at best can push you both to grow to new heights. But can you listen and rely on each other? Can you take advice from your partner? At its worst, this relationship can struggle because there is a tendency to assume that you always know better than your partner. With that said, if you can let your partner win and take their advice, this relationship pairing is a very complementary one.

Letting go can be uncomfortable, and it requires you to trust in your partners judgement. But it can also be exhilarating because your partner can show you new places that you did not know of before. The way your partner thinks is fascinating, different, and often really clever. What draws you together is a mutual fascination with each other’s intellect. This is a truly mentally stimulating experience for both personality types. Creatively, you can have much fun together.

ENFP INTJ Relationship Compatibility

A problem with the ENFP INTJ Relationship pairing is that the ENFP often has to let go of more emotional or cultural needs, while the INTJ feels they have to compromise on their ambitions and projects. There is not as much time anymore to realising your projects or work as an INTJ. You are not allowed to explore culture, people, music and art to the extent you might want to as an ENFP. It is important that you both allow the other freedom to work towards your passions. Practice letting go of one another’s attention from time to time and just sit next to each other, letting your INTJ work on their projects while you relax with a good book.

When cultural matters and work is explored, it is often in more abstract ways as dreams of travel, or discussions about starting a company or starting a new project. Often, these ideas remain on the drawing table and are never pursued to their fullest potential.

You can both find yourself dissatisfied by your lack of progress on these ideas. You need to be careful that this dissatisfaction does not lead to more intellectualisation, or a greater rivalry. The problem was never that your ideas weren’t big or clever enough. The problem was that you never took the final step to executing your ideas. So work together to develop grit and start making your plans more concrete. Set more step by step goals, focusing not just on the future but also how to get there. Make a note of your current accomplishments and cross of targets when you meet them.

Also check out my video on ENFP INFJ Relationships here.


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