Home | How can an INFP become happy?

Hey everyone, I’m Erik Thor, an expert on using personality psychology for flow and personal development.

How can an INFP become happy?

Many INFPs struggle with feelings of melancholy and depression at some point during their life. And often, this melancholy and depression can take a darker turn that it would take in other personality types. So what can an INFP do to become happy? These are my INFP Happiness Hacks.

Looking through my list of famous INFPs, I have encountered both the brooding, grumpy, and sensitive version of the INFP, and the more confident, cheerful, and optimistic version. INFPs seem to juggle both optimism and hope and self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness. In my studies, I have found INFPs to occupy both some of the most dark examples of popular culture, and some of the most bright.


The key to INFP Happiness

Looking at the good examples of INFPs, such as Phoebe Buffay, Luna Lovegood, Eddie Redmayne and Ellen DeGeneres, what can we learn? What is the key to INFP Happiness?

Take care of your inner space

Just as we have to clean up our room or environment we have to take time to clear our mind. Meditation, reading, or time spent just sitting or thinking. Going for a walk without looking at your phone. Getting a healthy dose of sleep. Those are all ways to keep away messy thoughts, warped insight, and unnecessary inner voice noise.

Sort your thoughts

Go over your thoughts and think to yourself “This is a messy thought.” or “I wonder how this thought would feel if it was more clear?” Sort through your thoughts and think about where they come from. Sometimes we pick things up from other people. A bad habit is INFPs will internalise ideas from other people as their own. You might be giving yourself a hard time because you have taken on negativity from your step-mother or the bully at school. But those thoughts are not yours.

Speak up for yourself

Theres nothing more painful than regret. And INFPs who stay silent or are too afraid to speak out will have plenty of regrets. Regret tears up our self-image and lowers our self esteem. People who cannot set boundaries for themselves and say what is on their mind struggle more with depressive thoughts and self-doubt.

Go against the flow

In fact, INFPs are happier when they can go their own way all together. If you see other people doing something, go do something else. Just because everyone else does it does not mean you have to do it. Be weird. Very weird. Have quirks. Special things you do. Surprising things. Whats the fun in being like everyone else?

Do things your own way

Lots of people will rush you and push and pressure you, but INFPs need to be able to do things in their own pace. That means, give yourself time to think and understand a situation clearly. See the bigger picture. Take time to empathise and understand a situation from the other persons perspective. Do things your own way, even if it takes some time. INFPs who push or rush themselves will experience life as less meaningful and more forced.

Nurture hope and innocence

With this one, I mean to say there is nothing wrong, absolutely nothing, with being innocent and with having a “naive” sense of hope and idealism. There is nothing wrong with hoping for things to get better during a dark day.

There is nothing wrong with trusting a stranger or giving another person the chance to redeem themselves. Hope and innocence is a natural part of every healthy INFP. There are INFPs out there who give up and who reject their own innocence in order to protect themselves, but those INFPs are also less happy.

Practice self-love

Take time to appreciate yourself. Laugh at silly quirks you have, enjoy and celebrate yourself during your birthday. Practice self-care, through an extra long shower. Treat yourself to the movies or a nice dinner, or go out to see a concert. I see too many INFPs and INFJs that, during dark days, cut themselves off from everything they normally enjoy, and this normally only prolongs the misery.

Step into others shoes

INFPs have a magical ability to relate to and empathise with those around them. I see INFPs as Empaths, more so than even INFJs, as INFJs are more prone to self-insert. INFPs see you, understand you, and understand you as you. Not what you could be, but just the way you are right now, in this very moment. And being able to step into the shoes of others is something positive, INFP. It helps you understand you are not alone, there are other people who feel the same way. We INFJs do not always realise that, but that is something you have taught me.

Say no

A lot of INFPs do not allow themselves to have an opinion. Practice listening to yourself and gain a clear idea of what you want. Always have an opinion when people ask you. If you do not have a strong feeling about something, that usually means you do not want to do it. So say no, say yes, and avoid “I dont know.”

INFP Happiness Hacks

I developed this advice for INFPs. I am approaching 5000 viewers every day on my YouTube and my website, and my articles and content on INFPs is the one that gains the most amount of views and comments. So I want to do something nice for all of you. Check out my other INFP content and my videos.

If you want to, I really encourage you to become a patron. As my patron, you can request help finding out your personality type and your unique flow style. You can also request coaching and special content.

Read more: The INFP Personality Type


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