5 Ways Introverts Can Become Outgoing
Can an Introvert become an Extrovert? Why is it so difficult for some people to tell if they are introverted or extroverted? It sounds like a paradox, but the more ourselves we become, the more the opposite of ourselves we become. Let me give an example. The more comfortable an Introvert becomes in themselves, the more confident and outgoing they become. The more secure an Extrovert becomes, the more introspective and comfortable they become with alone time. Why is this? Carl Jung had a theory about it, and it is absolutely GROUNDBREAKING.
Over time, we gravitate towards our opposite nature
It seems as if a self-actualised INFJ is much like a martial arts master, present, strong and confident, and emanating Extroverted Sensing and Introverted Thinking. Similarly, it seems that an ESFJ who has put in the work and made an effort to connect with humanity and with their tribe, acquires the wisdom and intelligence of this tribe, and is able to attain a similar level of excellence and intelligence as an INTP. This tendency of people becoming their opposites is fascinating. But why does it happen?
Why is that? Carl Jung had a concept known as Enantiodromia. Enantiodromia means that, the greater the movement in a certain direction, the greater the movement in the opposite direction. I’m going to tell you more about that in a second, but first let us talk about how Introverts can become Extroverts.
Why it's hard to be extroverted
There are lots of introverts that would like to become more extroverted. So they force themselves to go out into the world and to engage people. They try to do things faster and to take more initiative. They try to show more emotions and warmth. They try to build more intimate relationships. However, the more they try, the more drained they become. Changing yourself takes hard work, and eventually, most people crash. Introverts often find themselves moving on a pendulum to putting themselves out in the world and then soon after, retreating back to their shell, where they feel more comfortable. Have you been in this cycle? It should sound familiar.
So what is the right way to do it?
The law of Enantiodromia supposes that the more you go in a certain direction, the greater the opposite reaction. That means, the more an introvert tries to be extroverted, the greater the pull they are going to experience to withdraw. But what if instead of trying to become an extrovert, you tried to do the opposite?
Introverts that respect and acknowledge their need for alone time and who are able to safely withdraw from the world without guilt or without feeling that they are doing something wrong, become quickly more energised and relaxed. By becoming more comfortable in themselves, and by acknowledging their own needs, they start to build up what Carl Jung calls Psychic Energy, or what I call Flow. This psychic energy that they build up, can then more easily become invested in other people, allowing them to more easily engage with other people and to build connections and relationships. Introverts who are well rested and secure in themselves, find it more easy to take initiative in social settings, and can even possess natural assertiveness, strength and leadership. The intention of going in a more introverted direction, and giving yourself more alone time, causes a natural and positive counter reaction inside yourself, as your inner extroverted shadow inspires you to move out into the world.
So what should you do as an Introvert to become more outgoing? The answer will surprise you.
The Five Ways Introverts Can Become More Outgoing
- Take more time to yourself, and to unwind.
- Allow yourself to slow down and don’t rush yourself.
- Allow yourself to be more calm and less warm in social situations.
- Create a harmonious and peaceful setting for yourself
- Allow yourself to be more careful and methodical
Now, some of you might say, I do these things, but I am not experiencing that urge to go out into the world!
A reason for this may be unresolved anxiety and stress. You might spend much time resting or relaxing, but during this time, you experience much inner turmoil. Doubt and uncertainty causes you to feel stressed even in times of rest and alone time. You may feel a sense that you should be doing something different, or that you should be more productive, or that you should be less shy. This guilt about yourself and who you are is often counter-productive, and creates a self-reinforcing spiral.
Ask yourself why you feel this guilt. What is wrong with being an introvert? Who is forcing you to be out and socializing with other people? Why do you feel a need to be constantly on? Who is telling you to always be productive and busy? Why do you feel a need to constantly present a social and warm persona to the outer world? Is there not something positive about taking your time on tasks, and taking the time to meditate and listen to your own inner voice? Can you not notice that when you become more introverted, you become more secure?
There is something even more fascinating about Carl Jung and with this theory.
Could there be highly introverted individuals who have managed to become extremely outgoing?
Could there be highly extroverted individuals that are able to engage in frequent alone time and who feel comfortable by themselves?
What I’ve found is that the more you manage to master the Flow State and the more you learn about yourself and how you manifest psychic energy and will, the more difficult it will be to tell if you are really an introvert or an extrovert. Soon, you will find that the loop and the movement from alone time and social outgoingness will become so natural, and so effortless, that it will be hard for you to tell what comes first. By learning about yourself and by honoring yourself, you will soon learn to become actualised, and over time, you will start transcending the boundaries of yourself and embodying both traits, switching back and forth between the two multiple times a day.
Is the goal to become an ambivert and to learn to balance both your dominant nature and your shadow with each other?