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Hey everyone, I’m Erik Thor, an expert on using personality psychology for flow and personal development.

My Truth Comes From My Friends

I’m writing this post to combat the idea that I am somehow the sole originator of these theories. Now, this is not completely correct. Not only do friends, family, and other independent creators inspire my work a great deal, but it is often from knowing them that I am able to have these thoughts to begin with. If these thoughts were solely my own, I would dismiss them outright. These kinds of theories need to be firmly based in human understanding and in true, deep listening to other people. Your friends make you smarter… or dumber. From the moment that you meet them, a fictional version of them forever will live inside you, and you will be able to hear what they would, or might say to you in various situations.

Feeling Judging (FJ) is what allows us to judge and determine what people would do in various situations and how they would think about this or that topic. Now, this is the kind of question that matters the most to me. Feeling and social disputes and diplomacy gives me a sense of meaning where science feels cold, raw, and too detached from it’s social context. While I understand objectively, the need for science, I much prefer the question of how science can help the people, than science in itself.

your friends make you smarter

Truth as folk lore

First, my notion of truth comes from always considering the people I know. I have made many friends and acquaintances overtime. And many of them come to live on, as versions of how I saw them, inside me. I borrow frequently from your wit, from thoughts I’ve heard you echo. And I have fictional arguments with people about all kinds of things psychology, philosophy, and life. I would balance different opinions and let various versions of the truth echo from different subjective perspectives. Finally, I would find the third way in times of conflicting opinions. I would not limit myself to what was logical or right from my own perspective. My personal wit can be wrong, but everyone’s combined process, that can reach much further.
Then I choose the answer or the version of truth that best responds to and synthesises the different needs of the people and individuals that I know. Now, this is a different form of truth than that of the scientist. It is not the kind of truth you get from an objective lab report. It’s not from measuring vials or quantities or doing objective tests about what is true for all of us, besides what anyone thinks. It is folk lore. I often say that I have the scientific prowess of a writer or an author of a book: I do research, I develop characters, I develop scenic landscapes, archetypal ideas of different people. And I use them to discuss various topics such as life and death, philosophy, who we are and what makes us happy.
I came into psychology after realising that I needed a better understanding of people. I decided that if I understood people better, it would help me in all aspects of life. For example, I could use this conceptual social knowledge to further my reasoning. This would get a better grasp of politics, life, and humanitarian issues. Instead of just thinking about what is true or false. I can think about what is true or false for my friends, and based on what I know about their experiences. Beyond that, I can even think about my friends in neuroscience and raw hard sciences. I can borrow their wit to solve problems I would not be able to solve from my own perspective. And I could find better ways to respond to people’s needs and to make the world a better place for human beings.
I think for a second about John Rawls and how he said that, to know the ideal way to build a political society: We should imagine the people stripped from their class, race, gender, a true blank canvas. And we should imagine them discussing what is just. If you don’t know what place in the world you will be born. What kind of a world would you like to be born into? How big differences in poverty and wealth would you accept? Would you agree to racism if you had a chance to be born as a black person? This is the perfect example of how we can drive truth from folk lore. From knowing how people would act in various situations. And I do believe FJs can make a place for themselves in science, but FJs, there’s an important lesson in here.

Friends make you smarter

Make friends with people smarter and brighter than you are. And lend their wit, inside your own head. Think about what kind of reasoning they would have in this or that situation. How they would solve the various problems you are faced with. I was able to gain the inspiration I feel from the people I know. From being able to briefly channel their power. I channel their wit, and their insight. And thanks to them, I have been able to overcome many obstacles and issues throughout my life.
Many thanks go out to all my friends. Even the fictional characters I came across in all the books I’ve read. It’s you that make me smart, and without you, I would not be able to do any of this. Friends make you smarter, and the smarter your friends, the more successful you can become.
@Mike asks:

Isn’t it the EF that internalizes what other people would say and review them in order to consider how to best respond to what they are asking?

My answer:

Yeah, there’s a good callout: I was kind of aware of how the overlap occured in the article, I found myself describing the IFJ process, not just the FJ process. The FJ process is artful communication based on your gut judgement on what people need and what is right and the best version of truth for people. Watching How To Get Away With Murder yesterday, the ENFJ main character Anna Lise said “It is true, because it is the version of truth that makes the most sense, and because it is the best for all of us.”
I thought that was a very EXFJ statement. As an FJ, the sympathies I feel with her is that truth is a matter of what is best for everyone, what gives everyone peace. For an EXFP, it would more be that truth is more based on what is best for the individual. For the IXFJ, it is that truth is derived from introspection on what the group or the community needs: and typically, that is less based on direct and active reflections of people around you, and more about people from the past or the future. Hope that clears up the article more!


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