Hey {firstname},
You probably know me from my work on personality psychology. Today I am announcing something different: the first book I have ever written. It is called Why I Love, and the subtitle is Eight practices that help me overcome cynicism.
I recorded a video about it.
What changed
There was a time when I was stuck in a mask. I was making videos every day, putting out a lot of content, and trying to be this enthusiastic, energetic person. I wanted nothing more than to fit in. It took me a long time to realize I didn’t need the mask, and that I could let go and find the person underneath.
If you want to know the person underneath your personality type, underneath the labels, underneath the roles you play at work, with friends, with family, this book is for you.
It is not an academic book. It is my personal story, and I hope that reading it gives you a chance to find out a little more about your own.
Cynicism
When I hit my burnout in my twenties, I fell into a spiral. I questioned everything I did. I was perfectionistic. I worried about what other people thought. I was afraid of caring, of opening my heart, and letting myself feel passionate about something again. What if I made the same mistakes in my past?
So I asked myself: how do I learn to love again? How do I learn to care? Eight things helped, and they are the eight chapters of the book.
The eight practices
- Love for yourself. Quieting the inner critic. I used to undermine every choice I made — a presentation was terrible even when people liked it, a video was terrible even when hundreds of people did. This chapter is about respecting yourself by acting with integrity.
- Love for others. Connecting with people as you actually are, without the mask. I don’t think you can connect with anyone while pretending to be someone else.
- Love for life. Putting down the screens and stepping outside. There is a rich world out there, and it is free.
- Love for the truth. Letting go of the ego that already knows the answer. I told people online that I no longer believed in personality types the way I had researched them, and it was embarrassing. It was also the truth.
- Love for your future. Doing the thing while you are still afraid of it.
- Love for your work. You shouldn’t spend eight hours a day doing something you hate, and most jobs have something in them worth loving, even on the hard days.
- Love for your ideas. Not leaving them in your head as thoughts. Letting yourself be genuinely creative.
- Love for those who struggle. Compassion for people and their problems without needing to fix them.
How this works
This is my first book and I am publishing it independently. I print it, and a shipping partner sends it worldwide. There is no Kickstarter and no platform in between. Everything happens on my own website.
You can pre-order now as an e-book, an audiobook, a paperback, or a hardcover. My goal is fifty preorders in the first month.
The book is also a conversation. Every chapter asks you questions back, the same way the free test does. The test looks at your relationship to each of the eight practices, and at where cynicism shows up in your life.
Writing this took years, and it was a joy. It taught me my own voice. I hope it teaches you something about yours.
Erik
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