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Hey everyone, I’m Erik Thor, an expert on using personality psychology for flow and personal development.

10 Ways To Make An INFP Happy

Everyone can have a rough day. And you can’t force anyone to be happy. But there are many small things you can do to put a smile on an INFPs face. If you want to support and encourage an INFP, these are 10 ways to make an INFP happy.

1. Compliment them on who they are, not what they do

Giving an INFP a compliment on an identity or personality trait they have is better than complimenting them on a skill or ability they possess. You might think you’re nice, complimenting them on finishing a task quickly, but you may be contributing to performance anxiety. You may cause the INFP to feel more pressure to keep achieving more and doing better.

Bonus: Encourage the INFP to have their own artistic style or way of doing things. There is a difference between doing things perfectly, and doing things with personality. Allow an INFP to have their own method or style of writing. It may seem slightly impractical or unpolished, but it’s also raw and human.

2. Point out something absurd about life

Learn to recognise the random and odd in life. Or, if you can’t see it, embody it yourself. Be the eccentric one, the one that dares to say and do something quirky or unusual. If you say Marco, you’ll find the INFP to be one of the first to say “polo!” – INFPs invite and respond well to absurdity.

3. Use roleplay and imagination to make life a little more fun

Why should reality always be so real? Why can’t there be unicorns on the crossroads or trolls guarding the dark tunnels? Why not imagine your bike is a dragon, or that you’re both vampires out looking for prey? I know some of these things may sound childish, but personally, I’ve never given that side up in myself. My inner child is as much with me today as it was when I was a kid, and I’m perfectly fine with that.

4. Be vulnerable and encourage vulnerability

Daily, let the INFP in on your inner world, your thoughts and emotions. Share things you wouldn’t share with just anybody on the street. Ask the INFP questions about what they are thinking and check in with them. How are you really?

5. Play zero-pressure creative games together

It’s true INFPs often have an inclination to creative tasks, but they don’t do well with creativity on a deadline or with pressure. Forcing them to artistic or musical activities can backfire. Instead, just go to creative spaces with them, places that encourage creativity, rather than demand it. Let it be spontaneous and just something that blossoms up in the moment, because a pen and paper happened to be right there.

6. Invite your INFP on small, stimulating adventures

Get them out of their heads by encouraging them to seize new rare opportunities for adventure and exploration. Fill their lives with novelty and let them feel excited about the potential unknown out there. Sign you both up for a poetry slam or take up a new crazy hobby together.

7. Let your INFP vent

Allow them to talk about bad experiences or to go through negative emotions, be the person that will listen without judgement. Walk through something tough with them patiently. Save the laughter, and the hope, for when you are both ready to leave the tunnel. That means, don’t force them to look at the bright side, and don’t talk over them.

Bonus: Don’t bring up your own negative experiences while they are sharing their stories. If you are unsure, ask them first. Otherwise, you risk making the INFP feel run over. Oh, we’re talking about you now? I guess I’ll shut up then…

8. Don’t let them talk badly about themselves

Make the INFP aware whenever they are going down a negative self-dialogue. Ask them to speak to themselves with the same respect they would give another person. Let them know it’s not okay to be mean just because you’re only being mean to yourself.

9. Read & play games together

And most of all, be bored together, because creativity and the imagination thrives in quiet spaces. Let yourselves both sit in silence for a while and let fun come out naturally. Not everything has to be a rush and not every situation has to be filled up with fun activities and party.

10. Don’t force them to be happy

If they’re not happy, fine. That’s okay. Why should we all feel forced to feel happy 24/7? The important thing is, we know sadness is a passing state, and that while we may feel bad right now, we may feel differently, or in an hour from now.

What are your tips and advice for sharing joy, and enthusiasm, and energy with INFPs? What do you recommend to empower and support INFPs better?


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