INFJ: The Messy Judging Type
My biggest blind spot is external organization
Like I said in my latest video, I tend to get a bit lost in my own head at times. Like, when I’m writing, I enter into a flow, and I literally black out everything else that happens around me. Time stops passing and I don’t know where I am. I only know what I’m writing about or the video that I’m making. The stereotype that INFJs are neat and organized, clean Judging types is in my opinion clearly a stereotype. I mean, we can be organized if we develop ourselves. But we really don’t have to be, and I think we definitely don’t start out that way.
This can get problematic, because while I’m zoomed out, time is actually still passing (!) When I wake up from my haze… I still have to catch the bus and get to work, and I end up not having done anything. The room is a mess, I forgot to do the dishes, I didn’t vacuum. And all that stuff has to be cleaned up and dealt with eventually.
At times, my tendency to avoid bureaucracy can be directly dangerous. Bills have to be paid, and taxes have to be done. You can’t get too immersed in your own world and you can’t stay too long in this state.
Of course, you can make the case that as a Judging type. I should be an ace at this kind of thing. But a thing about INFJs is that we are only as Judging as we are Feeling. And only as Judging as we are iNtuitive, and only as Judging as we are Introverted. Our judging is balanced by all our other personality traits. Because I am an introverted judging type, I score high in self-control and discipline and focus. But I suck at keeping a clean and neat environment and dealing with schedules. It’s hard for me to deal with things that require skills in management. If you compare me to an ESTJ, I won’t appear to be a Judging type at all.
Because I’m an iNtuitive Judging type, I tend to be highly focused. I have a one-track mind that only goes in one direction, the direction of my intuition and my ideas, and practical judging tasks are filtered out and neglected to a high degree. The only plus side is the fact that I’m a Feeling Judging type. I can clean and take care of chores, and I can cook, but only because I have a partner and because I consider it as a way of taking care of and supporting them. If I was alone, I wouldn’t do half this stuff, but yeah, I have a girlfriend I love and care for and I want her to feel taken care of.
So eventually I realize I’m going to have to step up. And if my own personality is not going to help me, I’m going to have to rely on external tools to do so. I need to start putting up post its with daily reminders and I need to start using alarm clocks to help me remember things. I need to carry a notebook to remind me of all the small things and chores that need to be done on a day. Because I simply can’t trust myself to keep track of these things.
Dealing with your INFJ blind spots
I do this not because I want to be a sensing type, or because I think I’ll ever be able to match the organization skills and reliability and consistency you see in an ESTJ. I do it because I want to clear my mind from the anxiety of not being able to handle these things. If I can clear up and deal with the necessary tasks beyond my control, it will get easier. I will no longer have to worry about these things messing up my focus. I will be able to truly concentrate and channel myself into others tasks undisturbed. By not being able to be consistent. By not noticing my environment or the clutter around me, I slowly overwhelm myself. I risk disrupting my concentration and ability to perform well in any area of my life.
These small things may appear small, but they are also about confidence, and if you don’t clean your room, and if you don’t even handle the basic things in your life, you can’t truly feel in control of your life. These things will wear on your confidence. This will cause you anxiety, no matter if you do them or not, so it’s better to just get them out of your way. You will feel more relief if you can face your stress head on when it is importan.tWhen you feel relief in these areas, you will also feel more flow in other areas.
Let me tell you, flow is, more than a positive experience of joy in areas that are important to you. It is also freedom from stress in areas that cause you difficulty. This is an important discovery for me, but I will have to remind myself about it many times. I think it’s a part of life that we can’t be good at everything. Sometimes we will forget, and sometimes we’ll make mistakes, and it makes sense to get swept away in areas you are passionate about. But once in a while, you gotta learn to deal. Or what do you think? Are you good at organizing? What is the black hole you leave in your life?