Individualism & The Lost Art Of Autonomy
Hey everyone, Erik Thor here! 👋 In today’s video, I’m diving into something super interesting that I’ve been thinking a lot about: how we humans sometimes trade our deep need for autonomy for this… vanity project of trying to be different or unique. 🤔

It’s funny, right? We see all these personality quizzes out there – MBTI, Big Five – all asking “Who are you?” as if being different is the ultimate goal. But what if I told you that being autonomous – having that strong inner compass – isn’t the same as bending over backwards to be different from everyone else? 🤔

Think about it. We often build our identity by looking at our friends and family, constantly comparing ourselves. It’s like we’re always asking: “How do I appear to others? What makes me stand out?” We get stuck in this loop of checking for other people’s reactions, putting on a mask, trying to be the opposite of everyone else. 🎭

And you know what? I think introverts can be particularly susceptible to this. That constant “Who am I and what makes me different?” question can lead us down a path of trying too hard to be unique. We find that one skill, that one hobby, that one way of thinking that sets us apart. But isn’t that also a path towards feeling a bit… alienated? 🚶‍♂️

Because here’s the thing: when we focus so much on being different, we create distance between ourselves and others. Our decisions end up being based on what everyone else is doing, not on what our own inner voice tells us is right. 🧭

Autonomy, true autonomy, is about having that strong inner moral compass. It’s about knowing who you are, being in touch with your own inner voice, and making decisions based on that, regardless of whether they align with the crowd or not. An autonomous person can blend in if their inner compass happens to align with the outer world, but it doesn’t need to.

Trying to be unique, on the other hand? That’s just about doing the opposite of everyone else, all the time. It’s building your identity on this constant contrast, and it actually alienates you from your own inner compass. You think you’re building a unique sense of self, but are you really connecting with who you truly are? 🤔

The only way to truly connect with yourself and develop autonomy is to listen inward. It’s about yearning, reflecting, meditating, actively listening to that inner voice. It’s about asking yourself: “What do I want? How do I feel about this? What decision would I make?” It’s about deciding that your own thoughts and opinions matter to you. 🗣️

And here’s a little mind-bender for you: that “outer world” you’re trying to be different from? It’s not some separate entity. Your mind isn’t just your inner self; it’s also your worldview, everything you believe about others. That story you tell yourself about your friends, family, and the world around you? It’s a reflection of your own inner self. So, what you say about others says a lot about you. 😉

So, how do we cultivate a deeper sense of autonomy and move away from this need to be different? Ask yourself: “Why am I trying so hard to be different? What am I hoping to gain?” Often, it’s some form of approval, maybe not direct praise, but that “wow, they’re different” kind of recognition.

And if your “outer world” story is filled with negativity – shallow people, lazy people, stupid people – that says a lot about your own mental state, especially if you’re going through tough times. It’s often a reflection of your own internal struggles, not necessarily an objective truth about the world. 🌍

So, if autonomy is the goal, how do we get there? First, recognize if you’re seeking that external validation – approval, envy, competition. Then, start connecting with your inner compass.

I’ve found a super simple method for this: just ask yourself yes or no questions about simple, concrete things. “Should I go for a walk? Yes or no?” Go with the first instinct. “Do I want tea or coffee? This or that?” Trust that initial pull. It’s about developing that inner “yes” and “no.” ✅ ❌

After you make that small decision and act on it, take a moment to reflect. What did you think about it? How did you feel? Maybe jot it down or even record a little video for yourself. This is the starting point of building autonomy. ✍️

It’s a process, and you’ll probably find yourself slipping back into that desire to be different sometimes. It takes time to really let go of that. But remember, we’re all a little weird in our own way. If you pursue autonomy, you’ll still be unique, but it’ll be a natural byproduct of being yourself, not something you’re forcing. And trust me, that’s the best kind of weird there is. 😉

Thanks so much for watching! Let me know your thoughts in the comments below. And I’ll see you in the next video! 👋
via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CmSFlNKAso