Someone criticizes a project I worked on for three months, or someone questions my integrity in front of my peers. Instantly, my spine stiffens. My chin juts out, my voice lowers, and an intense surge of energy floods my arms and chest.
Before my conscious mind can evaluate the feedback, my nervous system is already moving forward into battle. I want to argue every point, expose every logical flaw in their statement, and prove beyond any doubt that I am right.
For a long time, I believed that this combativeness was simply what strong, confident people did. I thought backing down meant being weak or admitting defeat.
In reality, my body was leaning into a Fight response. When your nervous system encounters deep vulnerability, shame, or fear, it often decides that attacking is safer than feeling small.
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