Do you ever feel like you are two completely different people sharing the same skin? On Monday morning, you wake up with your life together, clear goals, and real confidence. But by Wednesday, after one difficult conversation or unexpected hurdle, you are ready to give up on everything.
My thoughts, emotions, ideas, and sensations are just information—not who I am. When I stop treating exhaustion as a flaw, I can finally listen to what it has to say.
Erik Thor
Have you noticed how your entire sense of self can shift depending on what day of the week it is?
On Monday morning, I often wake up feeling like I have my life together. I have clear goals, I know what I want to achieve, and I speak with confidence. On Tuesday, that certainty starts to slip. I feel a bit more anxious and I find myself worrying that something is going to go wrong.
And then, on Wednesday, it happens. Maybe it is a tense meeting with a manager who dismisses an idea I cared about, or maybe a project suddenly hits a wall. In that moment, my mind begins to spiral: Maybe I should just give up on everything. Maybe I should quit and do something completely different.
By the time Friday evening arrives and Saturday starts, something lifts. I find myself laughing again. My forehead relaxes. The heavy concerns that felt like life-or-death crises on Wednesday suddenly seem distant and unimportant.
And then Sunday comes, and the self-criticism creeps back in: Why didn’t I stick to my goal? Why didn’t I speak up with more conviction? Am I just a coward?
Maybe you’re thinking that this is just poor discipline, or that you need to toughen up. Perhaps you think that if you were only stronger or more consistent, you could lock yourself into that confident, goal-oriented Monday mindset every single day of the year.
I used to believe that too. But what if you aren’t failing? What if you are simply moving between different cognitive functions?
The Misunderstanding Behind Carl Jung’s Cognitive Functions
The psychologist Carl Jung noticed that the human mind does not stay in one single static state. Later on, theorists like John Beebe built elaborate models around this idea, giving names to these states: the primary function, the supportive function, the third function, and the inferior function.
Unfortunately, this created one of the biggest misunderstandings in modern psychology. Many people came to believe that the goal of self-growth is to conquer or eliminate the inferior function—to push away the shadow, banish vulnerability, and keep the confident primary function in absolute control at all times. Theorists even began using words like “demons” and “monsters,” turning our inner minds into a battlefield.
I don’t look at my psyche as a warzone. What if these different states are simply natural seasons of the self?
The Four States of the Mind
The Natural Comfort Zone (The Primary Function)
This is the ground I know by heart. If you are very intuitive, it could look like creative brainstorming. If you are deeply in tune with your feelings, it might look like artistic expression or quiet personal reflection. If you are driven by practical logic, it could look like solving complex problems or maintaining a physical routine. This is the state where everything feels easy, natural, and low-stress.
The Spark of Inspiration (The Supportive Function)
This is the season where I feel inspired to set ambitious goals and venture into unfamiliar territory. Maybe you read a book, watched someone you admire, or experienced something that gave you a spark. You want to expand your comfort zone, build a new habit, and do things you feel could improve your life.
Caution and Restlessness (The Third Function)
This is the state where caution steps in. I feel more easily hurt, guarded, or restless. You might catch yourself scanning for potential problems, pulling back from others, and trying to protect your comfort before you get hurt.
Exhaustion and Surrender (The Inferior Function)
This is the state most of us try hardest to avoid. It is when you feel completely overwhelmed, when you want to throw your hands up, quit, and walk away. You don’t feel like your normal, capable self—you feel exhausted and stressed. But this state arrives for a reason: it reminds us of what is unnecessary.
You Cannot Increase Without Decreasing
In spiritual philosophy and ancient Taoism, there is an old truth: you cannot increase without decreasing.
I cannot simply keep adding new goals, new projects, and new obligations to my schedule without also deciding what doors to close, what to stop doing, and what to let go of. If I never stop, I can never genuinely start.
I’ll be honest with you: right now, I am managing the pre-order launch for my book, Why I Care, and my wife and I have a baby on the way. Even though I might seem steady and composed when I sit down in front of a camera, there are plenty of days where I don’t feel confident at all. I worry about how I am coming across. I get tired. I feel the weight of everything on my plate.
Perhaps you think that feeling this way means something has gone wrong. But what personally has worked for me is surrendering into that stress and exhaustion instead of fighting it.
When I notice my mind spinning—chasing one sprint after another—I have to ask myself: Where do I think I am running to? There is an old saying: the wheel is spinning, but the hamster is dead. When I force myself to keep running on empty, I lose sight of why I started in the first place.
When you allow yourself to sit down and rest, those uncomfortable feelings—the doubt, the anxiety, the sensitivity—are not evil flaws. They are simply information. They highlight real problems, unrealistic expectations, and boundaries that need to be respected.
Reflecting on Your Inner Cycles
How do you currently navigate the transitions between different states in yourself? Which state do you tend to resist or judge the most, and what might happen if you stopped fighting it and tried to understand what it needs instead?
What Could Next Week Look Like?
If you find yourself cycling through these confidence crashes, here is what personally has helped me navigate the week with more peace:
- Plan what you are going to let go of. When you sit down on Monday to set goals for what you want to create, you could also write down what you are not going to do. What unrealistic expectations or self-imposed obligations can you take off your shoulders?
- Finish the worry sentence on Tuesday. When doubts creep in, instead of trying to silence them, sit down and ask yourself: What if things go wrong? What if my worries actually come true? When I finish the sentence, I usually realize that the worst-case scenario is survivable. Life will continue.
- Be honest about exhaustion on Wednesday. If you hit a wall or experience a discouraging conversation, talk openly with someone you trust. Rather than pretending everything is fine, share what went wrong, how you felt, and what you learned from the experience.
- Treasure the relief on Saturday. When you feel relaxed, playful, and completely at ease, take a moment to store that memory. That sense of safety is always there within you, and you can recall it whenever you need gentle encouragement.
I would love to learn from your experience. Do you notice these shifts happening throughout your week? How do you treat yourself when your confidence takes a dip?
Feel free to leave a comment below or reply directly to this post. I read every message.
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