Hey, I’m Erik Thor—a developer, psychologist, and writer. I explore personality spectrums, cognitive functions, and growth. Read my story or support my work.
My new 16 personalities test
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Take testHealthy boundaries create healthy people. What should you start saying no to? And what happens if you don’t set boundaries in a clear and healthy manner?
MBTI Boundaries
What should an NF say no to?
Letting people treat you badly just because you can empathise with them. Even if people are having a rough time, that doesn’t give them the right to give you a bad time.
Having to fit the mold. Why should you have to fit in or be normal? What’s the fun in that? You have the right to be a black sheep.
People who keep telling you to wait until later. It’s fine that people need time to get things done, but there’s no reason to hold yourself back just to please other people. If they’re not ready yet, tell them you’ll jump ahead and they can join you whenever they feel ready.
People who keep promising you things they’ll never do. Just because you are loyal to other people, that is no reason to expect loyalty from other people. People who repeatedly fail you are not worthy of your trust.
What should an NT say no to?
People who question your character and values. People should not judge you for your morality or your ethics. You might not be good at the social game, but that’s no reason to be misjudged or to have your integrity questioned.
People calling you lazy. You might not be perfect and you’re not always on time or able to meet deadlines, but you deal with things that require high thinking power and it can be hard to estimate how long a difficult project may take.
People questioning your social skills. You might not always be able to say things in the most polite way possible, but you can be a really good friend and the right people will see that you’re good company.
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What should an SF say no to?
People who question your skills or intelligence. You might not do everything perfectly, but you try and you do a good job at most things you do. Sure, people can spot small inaccuracies here and there, but that doesn’t take away from that you’re great.
People not taking you seriously. People that joke or laugh at you or make you seem less than them. There’s no reason to humor people who are just downright rude.
People who try to pressure or push you to do something you don’t want. People can be really pushy at times, but that’s no reason to give in. Just do you.
Questions about the future. Why should you always try to meet a certain timeline? No need to rush having a house, getting married, or having the perfect life. Just enjoy the path to get there.
What should an NF say no to?
Letting people treat you badly just because you can empathise with them. Even if people are having a rough time, that doesn’t give them the right to give you a bad time.
People questioning how you do things. You have your own unique way to get problems solved, and that’s cool.
Social bullying. People that play games with you and try to make you out to be a bad person. Don’t go along with it.
What-ifs. Sure, there could be potential issues in the future, but you don’t have to have an answer for every outcome.
What is something you’ve started to say no to and how does that feel for you?
My new 16 personalities test
Want to discover your personality at work, at home, and in groups?
Take testErik Thor
Writer, Psychologist & ProgrammerI explore personality spectrums, Jungian cognitive functions, and self-ownership. Running side projects as a coach, online creator, and author, my goal is to build tools and publish articles that promote collective harmony, self-empowerment, and growth.
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